Fast Approaching

Fall is fast approaching.  Things in my life were starting to come unhinged and I wondered why it always seems to happen to me.  In fact, I spent the good part of August questioning just about everything in my life.  My failure to maintain healthy stable relationships, my in ability to let go of the past, my selfishness when it comes to friendships.  In the past 4 years I've been a wreck,  in and out of relationships, drinking too much to drown out my unhappiness (which it actually just intesfies).  So, in August while Margot spent the rest of the summer with her father and grandparents I went to France.  Alone. This wasn't a trip to see my dear friends or a trip for work, or for my seasonal shopping.  Nope.  It was a trip to figure out what I want out of my life.  And here it is almost October and I'm still in France.  My darling Margot is very happy with her Father and Aunt Karen so, rest assured as soon as I'm straightened out I'll be home.  For keeps.  I keep telling myself that this is one thing I'm not being selfish about.  I can't be emotionally unstable and raise an emotionally stable child.

 And then there's Jacob, well, that ended. It turns out that I loved him too much and with that fear I drove him away.  Don't fret my friends.  This country has been my refugee and if there is one thing this trip has given me is perspective. 

I will need to cut back on the smoking and espresso though but, in a very Molly bright side, I've managed to fit back into a size 2.  So, next week, I'll be back in my city fresh with a new perspective and svelte figure.  I

I have several things to mend.  And one person in particular to see.

I'll keep you posted.